Can we have it all?

This week is the closest I have ever got to the dreaded burnout. A combination of studying, working, running a household and a toddler that has had a reluctance to sleep has pushed me to my limit. I took a day of work to rest and recoup and had a think about my life balance.

I feel I have sacrificed blogging, something I take so much pleasure in and use as an outlet. But, in contrast I wouldn't think of not doing the housework (the horror). So time to readdress the balance, what do I want, what do I need and what can I drop.

I have come to the conclusion that I can have it all, I will blog, I will clean, I will work and of course I will parent. But also, I will rest, I will ask for help, I will leave the washing until I am ready to do it. I will be a bit kinder to me. 

I feel I am bombarded with images of the perfect balanced and blow dried mother and it makes me feel inferior. But then I go on my Instagram to see the real parenting, the need for coffee, the messy house, the calling out for support and I remember that I don't want to be a glossy mum, I want to say fuck it and eat cake and I want Tom to see that I am trying my hardest but sometimes it's ok to need help. 

In short, eat cake, screw the washing and be happy!

Peace and love X

But what have you learned?

Recently I have talked parenting with a few childless (and well rested) friends, a question that has come up each time is 'what have you learned?' 

Well, I've leaned lots of things, I've learned to change a nappy whilst Tom is standing up (read: running away), I've learned to have a conversation whilst Tom is loudly playing (read: screaming and running away) and and I've learned to clean my house, make dinner and write an essay whilst chatting with a toddler (read: nodding along to him screaming). Basically you learn to multitask. 

But there is something I haven't really leant, how do you deal with not sleeping? Mr B is starting to be up with Tom during the night more and he thinks that I've already learnt to cope with the not sleeping but I'm not so sure. 

I am so tired, I am so tired I forgot the word spoon, unusual considering they are now the implement I used about fifty times a day. I am so tired I now do microsleeps, whilst walking. I am so tired I actually crave sugar for energy, I had not experienced this before! 

I don't know if you get do learn to manage the lack of sleep? I am running on the fumes that one day he will just give it up and sleep properly. Or that I will become a supreme being who can survive on Reeces Pieces and cold tea.

So I guess this is a bit moany and not particularly reassuring to the person looking for the answer of how to get a toddler to sleep through the night. But, it shows thy no matter how tired you arroyo can gulp down that cold tea, spray on that dry shampoo and crack on. You can do it mama!

Quote of the day

I know, I know, I haven't done one of these in ages. I have dropped the ball a bit recently with blogging which on one hand I am really sad about, but on the other I don't want to post tripe for the sake of it as I am rushing and not giving it the time it needs. So there we are, shall we move on?

I love this quote, I was getting my Christmas on (I start early!) and was watching It's a Wonderful Life, when I saw this sign in the bank and have instantly adopted it as my life mantra!

"All that you can take with you is what you have given away"

Just so perfect

Have a nice day y'all 

5 Signs You Are Old And A Parent

1. If you were to get time to watch a film (ha!) you no longer relate to the cool you hip protagonist, in fact you think they are a stroppy young thing that needs a good wash. You are no longer Lindsay you are Jamie Lee. And you are ok with it

2. Your 'dream home' no longer includes a bar with Jäger on tap, more likely a playroom and a not too intimidatingly hawt nanny... And gin on tap

3. You dress practically. This doesn't always mean ugly, but an acceptance that there will be stains and choosing clothes that can camouflage accordingly. Also accommodating the 'mum tum'/cake thighs. Life would be easier if there was a uniform of baby grows and dribble bibs for adults 

4. Mum hair. There a few variations of this; scraped up, scraped back, a bit unwashed, very unwashed and hat. Usually accessoried with sick or food. The young mothers seem to magically find time to groom themselves but I'd rather spend five lore minutes in bed and continue my love affair with dry shampoo.

5. All of these points accumulate into my last, and lost fabulous point

NOT GIVING A SINGLE SHIT. 

I think young mums (not just age but mindset, after all I am only 26 *clings onto my youth*) still really care what the wider world thinks of them. I do have my monuments but for the most, other people can do one, the only person I who can judge me is Tom. Tom thinks I'm Beyoncé when we are having a boogie, he thinks I'm Taylor Swift when we sing the Thomas the Tank Engine tune and that I'm Ed Byrne when I pretend he has smelly feet (seriously, this kid is easily amused). Tom doesn't see greasy hair, bags under my eyes, stains on my clothes or my jibber belly, he thinks I'm a bit wonderful and that's all I could want. 

Dublin Pass : Frolicking in Dublin

For Mr Bs 30th birthday I bought us a trip to Dublin, he had been to Ireland a few times but we hadn't been exploring the Emerald Isle together before, and Dublin was new to him as well, so woo city break! When we were planning what to do, a friend recommended getting a Dublin Pass and when we looked it up we decided it was definitely the cheapest option for seeing the main sights of the town and our coach from the airport was also covered. There are 1,2,3 or 6 day options available, we went with 3 days for €63.90 as it was on sale, the regular price is €71. This was ordered from www.dublinpass.com and picked up when we landed at Dublin airport. 

I will cover each attraction we used in a little section with the non Dublin Pass price and then do a separate post for our non Dublin Pass activities :

Jameson Whiskey Distillery €15

This was the first attraction we visited due to the convienient location to our accommodation. I cannot recommend this tour enough, I am not a huge whiskey drinker but I enjoy a tipple. The tour was engaging to me and the more die hard fans in our tour group. You are on a guided tour through the stages of whiskey making and what makes Jameson's different to other whiskeys. I really enjoyed this and would recommend it to all visitors of Dublin. There really is something for everyone. The tour ends with a whiskey tasting, comparing brands so be warned if you get there early as you could have lit my breath afterwards! At the very end of the tour you can exchange part of your ticket for a free drink of either a straight Jameson's or a coctail if you prefer, a perfect taste of Dublin. 

Guinness Storehouse €18

Now of course we visited the Guiness storehouse, it's almost expected of a visiter to Dublin! In contrast to the Jameson's visit  this is a self directed tour which I think works with how much information you choose to take in as there is so much, the Guiness covers the making of Guiness but also the branding and incorporation of Guiness into Dublin life. The tour also allows you to learn to pour the perfect pint of Guiness which is done in small groups. This was definitely  the highlight of the tour but if your prefer not to pour then you can go straight to the sky bar where you can claim a free Guiness and admire the panoramic view of Dublin.  

Wax Museum Plus €12

In truth we only visited the wax museum as it was included in the pass and was in a convent location. It wasn't great. I think that maybe if you had children or if you were Irish (so you might recognise more of the people) then you might get more from the experience. The part about old Irish legends was quite enjoyable, but I found most of the waxworks to be very dated. I'm glad it was included as I would have been very disappointed if I had paid entry. My advice would be pay and go the Leprechaun Museum, so much better and fun for all the family!  

Aquazone & Aquatic Centre €14 

This was Mr Bs choice. We didn't anticipate how far from town it would be, resulting in an hour long bus ride each way. Tip : And in the afternoon one of the bus stops being in service and you could end up waiting there like a total plum, so yeah, don't do that.

This was really just ok. It has an Olympic pool which is quite a sight to see. And you have to wear a swim cap, I found that a bit weird. The pool has a lazy river and some flumes, but if I went back I wouldn't go there again. For the time it took to get there it just wasn't worth it.

Dublinia €8.50

In contrast, I highly recommend this especially as a family activity but I enjoyed it either way. This looks at the Vikings landing in Dublin and the impact at the time and beyond. It's an interactive self directed tour suitable for all ages. The staff were very friendly and it culminates in a beautiful view of Dublin. Tip : At the end of the tour when you exit through the cathedral you may notice a bench with a statute of a sleeping homeless man. This is a representation of Jesus, and had a poignancy of him being left unnoticed by all the passers by. 

Joanie Johnson Tallship & Famine Museum €9

I would also strongly recommend the tall ship. This is a guided tour on a matter that I knew very little about. Our tour guide was a man named Paul and he was wonderfully engaging and clearly passionate and knowledgeable about the subject. I don't wish to spoil what is a very interesting experience so I will leave this with just a strong recommendation to visit, it is suitable for all ages.

There are many other attractions covered but this was what we wanted to do and generally had the most convent locations. By using the Dublin Pass we spent €63.90 rather than €76.50 months entry to attractions and €6 airport transfer (total €82.50, saving €18.60. As well as saving the money it also works as fast pass entry to the attractions which was especially useful in the likes of the Guinness factory which was a very busy attraction. 

I was very impressed with the price and efficiency of the Dunlin Pass and have already recommended it to a friend who is due to visit Dublin soon. I would also generally recommend a trip to Dublin, a wonderful city with the most friendliest of people! The company also do passes for other city breaks and as I've always intended to visit Paris one day, I will definitely  be looking into a Paris Pass!

Sometimes being a mum is really really really hard...

Today has been a long day, a long day that followed a long night, the product of several long days and nights. I'm exhausted. 

Now, obviously I love Tom. I love him more than life itself, I wouldn't give up being a mama for anything. Let's not waste time labouring that point, but..,

Sometimes I wish I could pause being a mum, just when its one of those moments : 

1. Tom is going through a lovely biting phase. It hurts. It's mainly aimed at me, and I knew this is meant to be a sign of love and trust blah blah blah but sometimes I really wish he would just flipping stop. Scratch that, all the time, there is no point where I enjoy a cheeky bite.

2. Teething. Teething can just fuck right off. We have just had molars which sucked, you think I would deserve a break, maybe a few gins, but no, teething has returned and it brought its pal of waking up hourly. HOURLY. Mama needs sleep! At least the biting is keeping me awake.

3. Tantrums. Tom hasn't yet fully embraced the tantrum but I'm getting a definate colour of what is to come. He is a boy who knows his own mind. Overall I love that about him, he has a real sense of self and purpose. Problem is, sometimes that purpose is walking into a car park and when you stop him, he planks. So yay, stiff toddler screaming in a car park. Woo

5. Milk. After Tom has his bath for the night he has his eyes on the prize, he wants milk. He cares not for pajamas, eczema medication and grobags, these are clearly for mugs. So I have the pleasure of wrestling a dripping octopus whilst trying to maintain a calm, sleepy, peaceful atmosphere. I deserve a noble peace prize. 

6. And finally, throwing. Oh my boy loves to throw things. Each of the moments above frequently get a hidden bonus of something being thrown. Today I was simultaneously bitten and clubbed in the face with a fire truck. I understand that Tom wanted me to see the truck, I was happy to see the truck but I just wasn't looking hard enough apparently. Ho hum. 

Obviously many of these things are "just a phase" and maybe I will "look back and laugh" (bullshit) but right now I'm a tired, bitten and beaten mama. 

I (mostly) didn't write this to moan, I just wanted to put my bit of real parenting out there. Sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes you need a little cry or a gin, or mostly sleep. It always seems that everyone is doing amazingly and sometimes you are just surviving, but it will pass, it has too, right?

I'm off to sleep before the hourly wake ups begin. 

The realists guide to writing a birth plan :

I wrote a birth plan. Nay, I lovingly handcrafted my birth plan. It was Waitrose standard stuff, I even kept it in a nice little folder. MUG

When I arrived at the hospital I was asked most of the questions that I had answered anyway. But never the less I was sure it would be used. I used the format on the NHS website, surely they wouldn't make a format if it wasn't going to be used? BOLLOCKS

It wasn't used. I was far too busy pushing out a (not so) tiny human to give a fig about what I had written when I should have been working. When/if I have a second baby I will not be using one as I learnt, it will happen as it is supposed to.

However, I do think it's a good idea to complete one for your first baby. And here is why: 

1. They require a bit of planning, so you get a bit of an idea of what's to come and what options are available to you

2. There is no question of your wants and needs if your birth partner is unavailable or unsure when the time comes

3. When you are still preggers you have time to squander, plus it's quite reassuring that you are prepared (you are  really not)

So how to write one : 

1. Sit down: you are pregnant, it's always good to have a nice sit

2. Have a nap : see above, change sit for nap

3. Have a little snack : see above 

4. Go on the NHS website and use the template (I think I googled NHS birth plan - duh)

5. Reward oneself for finding it with a cup of tea

6. Go for a wee, you are going to need to after that tea

7. Answer questions based on ideal scenario, if it all went perfectly and your baby just slid out after a little sneeze

8. Sit back and point blank refuse to think about labour until your waters break 9. Now relax and reward oneself for all your hard work, with tea, a twix and a nap. 

I hope this was useful! Good luck mamas!