Most of us have to do it at some time so here are five tips on how to manage merging your old pre-baby work life and your new one!
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| You won’t miss this! |
- Be organised
If you want to have an easier transition then I would suggest you plan, plan, plan! Once that little milk monster is in bed then leap into action, get as much done the night before as possible so the morning is: get up, dressed, fed and out.
It will take a while for you to find your rhythm but planning ahead makes a huge difference. I will do a blog post on our nighttime and morning routines to show what works for us!
That initial return to work is very tiring as you aren’t likely to have used your brain too much on maternity leave so it might be a bit of a shock to the system, help yourself as much as you can to be ahead of the game!
- Be prepared that things have changed
In the period of time you have been off, the world has continued to turn, which sounds obvious but when you are tits deep in your baby bubble you do tend to forget that. When you return to work there will differences. The person that has provided your maternity cover may have done some things better than you, don’t let your ego be too bruised but learn from them. Equally the organisation may have changed, take this as an opportunity to reevaluate your role and what you want. Also, people know you’ve not been around, it’s ok to take some time to find your feet. Don’t feel that you need to come back like you haven’t been away, you have, stop being a dick to yourself, you are better than that.
- Realise that you have changed
Nicely following on from this, you are not going back as the person who left. Your world has been passed through a blender, it’s unrealistic to expect that you can waltz in and be exactly as you were before. You will have new priorities, less sleep, new ways of being, and all of that is ok. What you may also have is new skills, better time management, new ideas! Being different can be a great opportunity to up your game in a new way. People will adjust to the new you, don’t pressure yourself.
A caveat to this is, don’t be a dick and repeatedly use the baby as an excuse to skive, be moody or lazy. We all have bad days and need some slack but you aren’t the first person to have a baby and you don’t know what other people have going on. (Rant over, soz)
- Find the upsides
Before you return to work you are likely to be feeling a bit nervous, maybe a bit sad and apprehensive which are all valid and relevant feelings. I now challenge you to think of some positives to the return; drinking tea when it’s hot, peeing alone, talking to adults, freedom to play sweary rap music in the car, not talking about poop, wearing grown up clothes and caring how you look and of course TALKING TO ADULTS!
Now what will be good for your baby? Spending time with a family member? Being around other similar aged children, building independence from you, trying new things! Someone else changing the minging nappies, dealing with tantrums, tiring them out!
It’s good to share the physical load of looking after a baby and it’s good to get a bit of your pre baby self back. Trust me mama, this can be a good thing.
- Share the responsibilities
This has taken me 5 years and 2 babies but me and my husband are getting there so don’t expect attitudes and cultures to change in a day. But whilst on maternity leave it is likely that the lion’s share of housework and baby care has fallen to you, well once you are back it’s time to reconsider this as it’s disproportionate for you to continue carrying all of this. As I said it’s taken a *very* long time for the shift to happen but it’s important to consider who is going to be responsible for what, don’t let things all fall to one person.
Overall what I hope you get from this is that going back to work isn’t so bad, it could actually even be a good thing!
