The realists guide to writing a birth plan :

I wrote a birth plan. Nay, I lovingly handcrafted my birth plan. It was Waitrose standard stuff, I even kept it in a nice little folder. MUG

When I arrived at the hospital I was asked most of the questions that I had answered anyway. But never the less I was sure it would be used. I used the format on the NHS website, surely they wouldn't make a format if it wasn't going to be used? BOLLOCKS

It wasn't used. I was far too busy pushing out a (not so) tiny human to give a fig about what I had written when I should have been working. When/if I have a second baby I will not be using one as I learnt, it will happen as it is supposed to.

However, I do think it's a good idea to complete one for your first baby. And here is why: 

1. They require a bit of planning, so you get a bit of an idea of what's to come and what options are available to you

2. There is no question of your wants and needs if your birth partner is unavailable or unsure when the time comes

3. When you are still preggers you have time to squander, plus it's quite reassuring that you are prepared (you are  really not)

So how to write one : 

1. Sit down: you are pregnant, it's always good to have a nice sit

2. Have a nap : see above, change sit for nap

3. Have a little snack : see above 

4. Go on the NHS website and use the template (I think I googled NHS birth plan - duh)

5. Reward oneself for finding it with a cup of tea

6. Go for a wee, you are going to need to after that tea

7. Answer questions based on ideal scenario, if it all went perfectly and your baby just slid out after a little sneeze

8. Sit back and point blank refuse to think about labour until your waters break 9. Now relax and reward oneself for all your hard work, with tea, a twix and a nap. 

I hope this was useful! Good luck mamas! 

Five Shit Things About Being Pregnant : My Experience

Now, in time I am sure I will let you know all about my pregnant experience but I thought I would ease you in gently! I was not good at being pregnant, I was an absolute misery to the point that a friend told me she forget what I looked like when I smiled (!)

One of the main reasons was that I just seemed to get a lot of the crappy side effects, so I thought I would share and if you are out there all chubby and miserable you can be happy in the fact you aren't suffering alone : 

1. SPD - aka hurty pelvis

This came in very slowly so I kinda figured it was normal, until I was telling a friend with two kids that I was getting annoyed at feeling like I had been "booted in the fanny" and she was quick to explain that this isn't normal! There wasn't a whole heap that could be done about it but some simple changes like how you get in and out of a car, or turn in bed, can actually help manage the immediate pain and discomfort. In good news, mine cleared instantly after having Tom, so there is an end in sight!

2. Headaches

For the first trimester of pregnancy I used to frequently get really strong headaches, bad enough that I would have to stay in bed with the curtains closed. I went to the Dr who checked my blood pressure which was fine (definitely do this if you are getting headaches), and then he just said its part of pregnancy for some and there was nothing he could do. So naturally, I put a ranty post on Facebook and a pregnant friend of mine explained that she had it too and actually all I needed to do was up my water intake! And it worked! Hurrah, bye bye pesky headaches!

3. Restless Legs

These came on around mid to end pregnancy. Once I would get tired in the evening (all the bloody time!) my legs would go! I can only liken it to them feeling hollow and that you want to run and shake them to get the feeling full of life again? Sorry, pretty crap explanation! I would wake up in the night with this as well, it was so irratating! Sorry to say I never found a solution! 

4. Carpal Tunnel

Again this was a mid to end pregnancy thing. Basically, my wrist hurt, it hurt a friggin lot especially using my phone or a computer, or weirdly, laying in bed? I think generally when it was unsupported. I used to wear a wrist support from Poundland and it really help but made my wrist smell a bit rank, but I could live with that. 

5. Sickness

I thought I would end on a high! I was sick until 16 weeks and lost a stone in this time as I could barely eat. It was awful and I was miserable and hungry! I never found much of a solution (ginger really didn't work for me) but I was able to predict my sickness most of the time, I knew my triggers and I would choose my foods based on how easily they would come up. One thing I learnt is that I am very loud when I vomit so no subtle voms at work! This did make a brief return at the end of the pregnancy (a highlight was scaring the life out of my friend with a full on exoticist rendition) and I think that was because I just didn't have room in me for food and baby! 

I hope this was helpful! Or at least gives you hope that it will end! Did you have any side effects of pregnancy? 

Plus Size Pregnancy :

In truth I'm not sure about this post, I feel a bit anxious, like I'm putting out there what people don't want to know? I'm not sure exactly what I mean, just a gut feeling.

Equally, soon after I found out I was pregnant I started to manically Google 'plus size pregnancy', 'fat mum', 'obese pregnancy' and many other variations of the above. When we started trying to conceive I hadn't given much thought to actually being overweight and pregnant, two of my sisters have fertility issues and I'm a 'big girl' so I assumed it would be a big struggle. Three months later I was a knocked up fatty. 

I was wearing a size 22 and had no idea even what a plus size person looked like at full term, cue Google. And it helped a little bit but it seemed to be mostly American women, which is wonderful but I was looking for advice and guidedence  from the home soil.

Then I turned to those wonderfully crazy Netmums. I have found Netmums to be a  great resource on many occasions but in this case it felt a lot more like scare mongering. There was so many frightened women in the same boat that I was and the responses seemed to be that doctors will tell you off and people will say you are huge, this is not what you need to hear and I friggin hope it was the exception and not the rule!

I am going to do a Q&A style on what I worried about and if you have any questions or if I miss anything then pop it in the comments and I can answer or do a part 2 post (which would be terribly exciting!)

Did I end up so massive that people thought I was just really really fat and not pregnant?

I worried about this for a long time, an older friend of mine told me that when she had one of her children there was people that didn't know she was even pregnant. I think she was trying to prepare me in case I didn't show. I did show, I ended up with a fecking great big bump that you couldn't pretend was anything but a baby! 

This is me on my way into the hospital to have Tom so excuse the action shot/looking like a tramp, notice said massive bump!

Will I get gestational diabetes because I'm a chubby bunny?

I didn't! I have friends of all different shapes and sizes and some got it, some didn't. Just eat healthy and take care of yourself. 

I'm under consultant led care, what does this mean?

I had this, in daily life it means more appointments and possibly extra scans  (every cloud has a silver lining). The other side is that you may have extra complications as your body does have to work harder to sustain a healthy pregnancy. Labour may also have difficulties and your choice of pain relief may be affected. You also may not be able to give birth on a midwife led unit, in case of these problems. You may also be referred to a healthy weight management club, I was supposed to be but it didn't happen due to a clerical error (no biggie). I like to end on a positive, so, you get more time off work for the appointments!

Will medical staff be mean to me as I'm fuller figured?

Not in my experiences, in my time not one person made me feel bad about my weight (except me!). I personally felt embarrassed when I had to lift my belly (cringe) but when you hear your babies heartbeat then you don't give a fig.

Will they see my baby on the scan through my blub?

Yup, it might take a bit longer or be a bit more difficult but they will find your little pea. A few times Tom would snuggle right under my thickest part but my midwife was always able to find him. 

Will I be able to fit in maternity clothes? And not look like a twat?

Of course you can. Next maternity leggings was a particular favourite of mine! I bought a big bundle on eBay and used some items I already had. There is plenty out there. Your body will look beautiful in empire dresses and long skirts or tunics. Don't be shy to accentuate that wonderful rotund tum!

What will my bump look like? 

Well, mine wasn't the traditional D shaped round beach ball bump (I wish!). Instead, I had a B shape bump, so I had my big beach ball but under it I had my belly. Dressed, you wouldn't even notice but in the nude it was there. It wasn't the beautiful maternity pictures you see in magazines but it was me abd Tom, and that's ok.

This is all I can think of for now, but please ask any thing else you are worried about! I'm here to help! Sending chub mama love x