Fuck ups and Fixes
I know it’s so hard to believe but I’m actually not perfect (I’ll let you catch your breath). So here are 5 areas I am fucking up and what I’m doing about that. It’s also important to note that I included what I am accepting about that because some shit is beyond your control and why lug emotional baggage that can be put down?
1. Hey fatty boom boom...
I am not happy with my current weight, a brief overview is that I lost 5 and a half stone, had a miscarriage, got preggo, had the baby, ate a lot of biscuits, joined slimming world, lost a stone, left slimming world, ate more biscuits and now here I am.
What am I doing about it?
I’ve set myself a challenge to work out for 30 minutes every day in order to get my body used to moving more again, so far I’ve been successful! I am motivated by visuals and challenges so I’ve been using my bullet journal and the hashtag #fatcuntfebruary to track it.
Once the challenge is complete I will set a new monthly challenge around snacking as that is my other job problem area. A daily challenge helps me in that rather than tackling a massive problem I only have to survive one day at a time!
What I accept.
I accept that I am an emotional eater, and I problem solve with food. I accept that I love food and that I take great pleasure in cooking and eating, but this is not an excuse for gluttony.
2. You gotta have faith faith faith...
I have always considered myself to have an unorthodox approach to faith. I am a catholic and that is important to me, however my practices aren’t exactly in line with it! I don’t feel my faith is integrated in my life well.
What am I doing about it?
Luckily lent is coming which is a good time to consider faith. This year I am stopping swearing which may seem silly but if you know me you will know that this is a big deal. I am hopeful that this will mean my mind will be on Jesus more, even if it’s me being annoyed that I can’t just spout off my usual vernacular.
I am also wearing a cross daily, again to be a visual reminder to myself that God is with me. But also as way of showing the world that I am a woman of faith and that it’s actually quite important to me.
What I accept
It is truly my belief that if God wanted babies and toddlers in church he would have put a mute button on them. I accept that I am not prepared to regularly go to church with Chloe because I won’t actually be engaged with the service as she has my focus. However, because of this I will seek to strengthen my faith in other ways (such as using a daily Bible app)
3. Workin 9-5
Recently it’s come to my attention that some of my beliefs around my role in work and how it is perceived is actually bullshit based on my historical beliefs and perceptions and actually I have more value than I believed. However I know that I want more. I don’t feel I am reaching my potential.
What am I doing about it?
I am arranging to return to a previously held voluntary counselling role in which I felt valued and capable. I enjoyed the position but didn’t particularly try to integrate in the company which is something I want to try harder at this time.
In my paid position I want to take more ownership of the work I do compete as I like to do a lot of behind the scenes stuff and not put myself forward. I am also wanting to improve my networking skills (vom) as I know it’s an area I am uncomfortable in so should work on it in a place I feel safe (feels cringey to say)
What I accept
I accept their are limitations in the role I am in and that by comparing myself to the progress of others I will not gain anything except frustration. I accept my goals will take time to develop but never will if I never take a chance.
4. Ooohhooohhh baby love
Mum guilt. Always mum guilt. Currently it’s questioning if I give Tom enough academic support and if chloe is stimulated enough but let’s be honest at any given moment I can give you a list as long as my arm.
What I am doing about it?
With Tom I am making more effort to work on academic things and trying to keep it interesting. I am having to work more with Ben to have a United front on screen time and practicing homework even when one parent feels differently we both know consistency is key.
With Chloe I am trying to be more mindful of my presence with her, to do more targeted things around different skills rather than feeling overwhelmed with everything I just pick one thing in that moment and work with that.
I am also generally trying to be more aware of my phone use around the kids but that’s a tricky habit to break!
What I accept
I accept that I can’t be perfect, I can’t be the full time mum I was on maternity leave and that this is ok. I acknowledge that I have two happy kids that love and are loved and that’s all I need.
5. Money money money, must be funny, in the rich mans world
I don’t earn an amazing wage, I don’t earn a pittance but I really do enjoy spending money. Sometimes life is as simple as that
What I am doing about it?
So this is a weird one but it’s working, rather than instantly buy the thing I want, I take a photo and put it on my insta stories. And it totally hits the same spot, the joy is in the sharing the finding of something nice without the need to own it. Don’t get me wrong I’ve not stopped spending but it helps.
I am also trying to be more active in avoiding places that will encourage me to spend. I’m not browsing online as much or going into shops when I know I don’t need anything from there. My ‘in the moment’ willpower is weak but my fore planning and abstinence will power is surprisingly strong.
What I accept
I accept I am a mum with two kids and a husband who doesn’t like shopping for things that aren’t essential or technology. This means I have to buy stuff, I like to get a bargain and to be prepared so I will always have my eye out. But I acknowledge the difference between ‘I like that’ and ‘I need to own that’, and that my long term goals are worth more than instant gratification.
I hope you like this post, it feels a bit vulnerable putting it out there! What are your fuck ups and do you have any tips and advice for managing it?
