Fuck ups and Fixes

Fuck ups and Fixes

I know it’s so hard to believe but I’m actually not perfect (I’ll let you catch your breath). So here are 5 areas I am fucking up and what I’m doing about that. It’s also important to note that I included what I am accepting about that because some shit is beyond your control and why lug emotional baggage that can be put down?

1. Hey fatty boom boom...

I am not happy with my current weight, a brief overview is that I lost 5 and a half stone, had a miscarriage, got preggo, had the baby, ate a lot of biscuits, joined slimming world, lost a stone, left slimming world, ate more biscuits and now here I am.

What am I doing about it?

I’ve set myself a challenge to work out for 30 minutes every day in order to get my body used to moving more again, so far I’ve been successful! I am motivated by visuals and challenges so I’ve been using my bullet journal and the hashtag #fatcuntfebruary to track it.

Once the challenge is complete I will set a new monthly challenge around snacking as that is my other job problem area. A daily challenge helps me in that rather than tackling a massive problem I only have to survive one day at a time! 

What I accept.

I accept that I am an emotional eater, and I problem solve with food. I accept that I love food and that I take great pleasure in cooking and eating, but this is not an excuse for gluttony.

2. You gotta have faith faith faith...

I have always considered myself to have an unorthodox approach to faith. I am a catholic and that is important to me, however my practices aren’t exactly in line with it! I don’t feel my faith is integrated in my life well. 

What am I doing about it?

Luckily lent is coming which is a good time to consider faith. This year I am stopping swearing which may seem silly but if you know me you will know that this is a big deal. I am hopeful that this will mean my mind will be on Jesus more, even if it’s me being annoyed that I can’t just spout off my usual vernacular.

I am also wearing a cross daily, again to be a visual reminder to myself that God is with me. But also as way of showing the world that I am a woman of faith and that it’s actually quite important to me. 

What I accept 

It is truly my belief that if God wanted babies and toddlers in church he would have put a mute button on them. I accept that I am not prepared to regularly go to church with Chloe because I won’t actually be engaged with the service as she has my focus. However, because of this I will seek to strengthen my faith in other ways (such as using a daily Bible app)   

3. Workin 9-5

Recently it’s come to my attention that some of my beliefs around my role in work and how it is perceived is actually bullshit based on my historical beliefs and perceptions and actually I have more value than I believed. However I know that I want more. I don’t feel I am reaching my potential. 

What am I doing about it?

I am arranging to return to a previously held voluntary counselling role in which I felt valued and capable. I enjoyed the position but didn’t particularly try to integrate in the company which is something I want to try harder at this time. 

In my paid position I want to take more ownership of the work I do compete as I like to do a lot of behind the scenes stuff and not put myself forward. I am also wanting to improve my networking skills (vom) as I know it’s an area I am uncomfortable in so should work on it in a place I feel safe (feels cringey to say)

What I accept

I accept their are limitations in the role I am in and that by comparing myself to the progress of others I will not gain anything except frustration. I accept my goals will take time to develop but never will if I never take a chance. 

4. Ooohhooohhh baby love

Mum guilt. Always mum guilt. Currently it’s questioning if I give Tom enough academic support and if chloe is stimulated enough but let’s be honest at any given moment I can give you a list as long as my arm.

What I am doing about it?

With Tom I am making more effort to work on academic things and trying to keep it interesting. I am having to work more with Ben to have a United front on screen time and practicing homework even when one parent feels differently we both know consistency is key.

With Chloe I am trying to be more mindful of my presence with her, to do more targeted things around different skills rather than feeling overwhelmed with everything I just pick one thing in that moment and work with that.

I am also generally trying to be more aware of my phone use around the kids but that’s a tricky habit to break! 

What I accept

I accept that I can’t be perfect, I can’t be the full time mum I was on maternity leave and that this is ok. I acknowledge that I have two happy kids that love and are loved and that’s all I need. 

5. Money money money, must be funny, in the rich mans world  

I don’t earn an amazing wage, I don’t earn a pittance but I really do enjoy spending money. Sometimes life is as simple as that

What I am doing about it?

So this is a weird one but it’s working, rather than instantly buy the thing I want, I take a photo and put it on my insta stories. And it totally hits the same spot, the joy is in the sharing the finding of something nice without the need to own it. Don’t get me wrong I’ve not stopped spending but it helps. 

I am also trying to be more active in avoiding places that will encourage me to spend. I’m not browsing online as much or going into shops when I know I don’t need anything from there. My ‘in the moment’ willpower is weak but my fore planning and abstinence will power is surprisingly strong. 

What I accept

I accept I am a mum with two kids and a husband who doesn’t like shopping for things that aren’t essential or technology. This means I have to buy stuff, I like to get a bargain and to be prepared so I will always have my eye out. But I acknowledge the difference between ‘I like that’ and ‘I need to own that’, and that my long term goals are worth more than instant gratification. 

I hope you like this post, it feels a bit vulnerable putting it out there! What are your fuck ups and do you have any tips and advice for managing it?

#31in31 : Sophie Wants MAC : Challenge Complete!

I set a challenge for myself at the start of January to make an effort with my makeup everyday, if I did it then all makeup unused would be thrown away and I would get my first MAC lipstick! 31 days was surprisingly difficult at times and it really showed me how much I stick to the same styles, but I did it! You can search Instagram #sophiewantsmac if you want to see all my looks, bar two in which I forgot to take pics! 

What went well?

I really liked perfecting what works for my general look, how to do it quickly but well and what products work for me. I also liked it when I tried something new for work and received lots of compliments especially as I had assumed that lipstick would be too much! A pleasant surprise! 

What didn't go well?

I did get a bit bored, for sure if it wasn't a public pledge I could have easily let it slide. I also became a bit bored of taking a selfie everyday! How does Kim K do it?

What could I do better?

I think if I did it again I would do something like a different colour/theme a day, just to keep things fresh and push myself a bit more. 

What did I learn?

That I have hoarded loads of crap makeup and how freekin good it was to get rid of it! And how annoying it is having to take off a full face of makeup everyday. Also, thank God for Pintrest when I was running short on ideas!

I have made two YouTube videos on my hero products and what I got rid of! So keep an eye out for them! I hope you enjoyed the challenge and maybe you could try it too! And yes, SOPHIE GOT MAC! A beautiful red lipstick in Lady Bug. 

#31in31 : Sophie Wants MAC Challenge

Hey hey hey, Welcome to 2016!

I will be posting my resolutions soon, but I thought I would start with doing rather than writing! I've decided to try and set myself monthly challenges that will in some way improve my life! So I'm starting with my #sophiewantsmac challenge! 31 make up looks, one everyday! Then at the end of January all makeup that has not been used WILL BE THROWN AWAY! 

I can be sentimental about makeup, despite all the hygiene risks blah blah blah... But these days I am into streamlining and my bathroom is getting so cluttered so it's time to say bye bye birdy! And what better than actually seeing what it laying dormant and unloved like a Ru Paul reject.

What's in it for me you say? I want to do more of what I love and I love beauty so why do I roll out of bed with two minutes to spare and shove on some Poundland eyeliner! I am intending to set the alarm a bit earlier and indulge in making me look like the best me I can be! And lucky you, by following me on Instagram (@stylish_tom ) you get to see it!

My prize? What is a challenge without a prize! I will go and buy my very first MAC lipstick, which for me is a pretty big deal! I am seriously excited and hopefully I will be motivated on those days when I am only reaching for the poundline eyeliner!

I hope you like the idea, but I will do it either way! Do you have any challenges you are doing or any ideas for me for the coming months? Let me know below or on the Instagram! 

Happy new year 💋

Screen Time Junkie Results

So I've done my time, I set my challenge a week ago aiming to reduce my screen time and the results are in (drumroll) ... I FAILED! Miserably I might add.

I'm a screen time junkie and I like it funky 

But, through my failure I did learn, so not a total waste. In fact, not a waste at all.

Whatsapp : I have turned off my notifications and off they shall stay. I've been much less involved in long conversations and although I have felt 'not in the thick of it' I've also not felt pressure to maintain pointless conversation rather than actually talking to Mr B or my work mates face to face. I feel more balanced.

Notifications in general have been turned off : I had found myself checking my phone and I realise that often when I thought I was checking the time, I was actually looking for notifications. This seems a bit pointless. Now I check the time and if nothing is going on around me then I will unlock phone and see what's occuring. If not then check the time and the phone goes away, there is nothing compelling me to unlock. 

Social media : I struggled most with Instagram. I love Instagram and have started to make some new friends on there. It's easy to use and is visually enjoyable and instantly engaging. When I have had screen time I have gone to Instagram first and I have also enjoyed it the most. 

I have found less social media hard as I try to regularly drum up interest for the blog as well as finding inspiration for posts. I feel that I need more regular access to do that, but I've defiantly looked at the trade off in time and what I am sacrificing. 

The biggest change is defiantly when I choose to acces. I am consciously putting my phone down more when I am with Tom and Mr B. I've not totally kicked the habit but I am working on it. I think if I did the challenge every now and then, it would serve the purpose of putting my priorities straight. I am more plugged in  than I want to be but this week has started a change. I would recommend trying your own challenge, even in failure there is much to be learned.

Screen Time Junkie Challenge

I have a problem. I think I'm an addict. I'm a bit ashamed to say... 

I am addicted to my iPhone. I use my phone constantly. If I need to know something I'm on Google, if I want to buy something I check eBay, I blog and use Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. It doesn't really end.

It's been bothering me for a while and Mr B has made some not so subtle hints. I don't want Tom to just picture me with a phone in my hand, or a screen in front of my face and I feel like I am missing things for something that just isn't worth it. Now I've started getting a sore wrist from holding my phone at the same angle whilst breastfeeding and last night I woke up and had been dreaming about using my phone as I was holding an imaginary phone and putting in my passcode!

So a change must occur...

I'm setting myself a challenge, I am going to dramatically reduce my phone screen time. I'm giving myself a week of strict rules with the intention that hopefully either some good habits will stick or I will at least be more aware of bad habits. 

1. I have already turned off my banner notifications. When my phone is locked I do not know what is waiting for me. I am hoping this will be out of sight, out of mind?

2. No eBay, at all, for a week. Might save money too, two birds one stone!

3. Check email once in the morning, once before bed. No emails will be that important that it can't wait.

4. Whatsapp. No long ass conversations. I can message someone if I need to talk to someone but all conversations must be kept short and sweet.

5. I can have 1 hour screen time a day, whenever that may occur, this would cover Facebook, Twitter and blogging. 

I've tried to make my goals realistic, I am not suddenly going to not use my phone but I hope to have a better balance on how often I am using it.

I will do a pots at the end of the 7 days on how I have coped! Wish me luck!