The Parental Facade : Lies We All Tell

I was recently at a work function in which I was asked if Tom sleeps through the night. I think it's fair to say my regular readers know the answer is LIKE FUCK! My actual answer was, "Well, he hasn't been well, but before that we was doing well"

"Doing well"

No we wasn't doing well, we just wasn't doing as badly as we were before 'doing well'. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. 

I think we are all guilty of it, just prettying up the truth. We don't want our child or our parenting to be judged so we... Well ... We make our child seem a bit 'better' than perhaps they are...? 

1. Can he walk yet? Pah, he is practically a member of Stomp 

... Well the noisey part is true 

2. Is he a good eater? His first word may as well have been quinoa. Can't get him away from carrots  

... Mainly in the form of the Organix carrot sticks, but still it's carrot favour, right?!

3. Isnt he a good boy? Oh he is so full of spirit! He loves playing!

... Based on his energy levels, he could be Drop Dead Fred and Beetlejuice's love child

4. Can he talk? He has some key words and he speech is really coming along

... Mama = I want

Bananas = all food

Cat = get back here, I want to love you 

Dada = everything else

6. He is so handsome! I know, I love him so much

... Well I wouldn't endure a 26 hour labour for the sake of it! 

Do you find yourself in these situations? It can't just be me! 

Can we have it all?

This week is the closest I have ever got to the dreaded burnout. A combination of studying, working, running a household and a toddler that has had a reluctance to sleep has pushed me to my limit. I took a day of work to rest and recoup and had a think about my life balance.

I feel I have sacrificed blogging, something I take so much pleasure in and use as an outlet. But, in contrast I wouldn't think of not doing the housework (the horror). So time to readdress the balance, what do I want, what do I need and what can I drop.

I have come to the conclusion that I can have it all, I will blog, I will clean, I will work and of course I will parent. But also, I will rest, I will ask for help, I will leave the washing until I am ready to do it. I will be a bit kinder to me. 

I feel I am bombarded with images of the perfect balanced and blow dried mother and it makes me feel inferior. But then I go on my Instagram to see the real parenting, the need for coffee, the messy house, the calling out for support and I remember that I don't want to be a glossy mum, I want to say fuck it and eat cake and I want Tom to see that I am trying my hardest but sometimes it's ok to need help. 

In short, eat cake, screw the washing and be happy!

Peace and love X

Sometimes being a mum is really really really hard...

Today has been a long day, a long day that followed a long night, the product of several long days and nights. I'm exhausted. 

Now, obviously I love Tom. I love him more than life itself, I wouldn't give up being a mama for anything. Let's not waste time labouring that point, but..,

Sometimes I wish I could pause being a mum, just when its one of those moments : 

1. Tom is going through a lovely biting phase. It hurts. It's mainly aimed at me, and I knew this is meant to be a sign of love and trust blah blah blah but sometimes I really wish he would just flipping stop. Scratch that, all the time, there is no point where I enjoy a cheeky bite.

2. Teething. Teething can just fuck right off. We have just had molars which sucked, you think I would deserve a break, maybe a few gins, but no, teething has returned and it brought its pal of waking up hourly. HOURLY. Mama needs sleep! At least the biting is keeping me awake.

3. Tantrums. Tom hasn't yet fully embraced the tantrum but I'm getting a definate colour of what is to come. He is a boy who knows his own mind. Overall I love that about him, he has a real sense of self and purpose. Problem is, sometimes that purpose is walking into a car park and when you stop him, he planks. So yay, stiff toddler screaming in a car park. Woo

5. Milk. After Tom has his bath for the night he has his eyes on the prize, he wants milk. He cares not for pajamas, eczema medication and grobags, these are clearly for mugs. So I have the pleasure of wrestling a dripping octopus whilst trying to maintain a calm, sleepy, peaceful atmosphere. I deserve a noble peace prize. 

6. And finally, throwing. Oh my boy loves to throw things. Each of the moments above frequently get a hidden bonus of something being thrown. Today I was simultaneously bitten and clubbed in the face with a fire truck. I understand that Tom wanted me to see the truck, I was happy to see the truck but I just wasn't looking hard enough apparently. Ho hum. 

Obviously many of these things are "just a phase" and maybe I will "look back and laugh" (bullshit) but right now I'm a tired, bitten and beaten mama. 

I (mostly) didn't write this to moan, I just wanted to put my bit of real parenting out there. Sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes you need a little cry or a gin, or mostly sleep. It always seems that everyone is doing amazingly and sometimes you are just surviving, but it will pass, it has too, right?

I'm off to sleep before the hourly wake ups begin.