The realists guide to writing a birth plan :

I wrote a birth plan. Nay, I lovingly handcrafted my birth plan. It was Waitrose standard stuff, I even kept it in a nice little folder. MUG

When I arrived at the hospital I was asked most of the questions that I had answered anyway. But never the less I was sure it would be used. I used the format on the NHS website, surely they wouldn't make a format if it wasn't going to be used? BOLLOCKS

It wasn't used. I was far too busy pushing out a (not so) tiny human to give a fig about what I had written when I should have been working. When/if I have a second baby I will not be using one as I learnt, it will happen as it is supposed to.

However, I do think it's a good idea to complete one for your first baby. And here is why: 

1. They require a bit of planning, so you get a bit of an idea of what's to come and what options are available to you

2. There is no question of your wants and needs if your birth partner is unavailable or unsure when the time comes

3. When you are still preggers you have time to squander, plus it's quite reassuring that you are prepared (you are  really not)

So how to write one : 

1. Sit down: you are pregnant, it's always good to have a nice sit

2. Have a nap : see above, change sit for nap

3. Have a little snack : see above 

4. Go on the NHS website and use the template (I think I googled NHS birth plan - duh)

5. Reward oneself for finding it with a cup of tea

6. Go for a wee, you are going to need to after that tea

7. Answer questions based on ideal scenario, if it all went perfectly and your baby just slid out after a little sneeze

8. Sit back and point blank refuse to think about labour until your waters break 9. Now relax and reward oneself for all your hard work, with tea, a twix and a nap. 

I hope this was useful! Good luck mamas! 

10 Shit Things About Having A Giant Baby...

1. Labour : Now I'm not pretending that any labour is nice, but my perineum would have found a 6lb baby more comfortable shall we say, than a 9lb one. 

2. No one can guess the babies age : Is he a slow toddler? Is he is giant baby? Roll up roll up and take a guess. Many a weird conversation with people on the bus as to how old Tom is, this leads nicely into ...

3. Can he do... : People assume that as your baby is big then they are advanced. "Can he walk yet?" was asked from something stupid like 6 months. The answer is no, he is still a freekin baby!

4. The adorable new born stage passes in a blink. Now I think this applies to all babies but if they stay petite then that new born bit lasts just a tad more *wistful sigh* 

5. You don't get to enjoy half the baby clothes you buy as they are so quickly gown out of. You end up relying on shorts as they adapt with height, no ankle swingers there!

6. Kicking : Tom likes to use his long legs to his advantage and will kick of springboard off me! This leads to many a head but, so that's frickin great 

7. Blame : Big baby = your baby is a brute. Now this winds me up something chronic. In baby groups parents will watch Tom have the toys taken from him as he is large enough that they think he could take them back, but when Tom goes Godzilla on them as he doesn't have the coordination (as he is still little on the inside!) then I get some right looks! Grr

8. No awesome sale bargains : I see so many lovely clothes in the sale, but not for Tom, oh no, apparently every other mother of a toddler has had them!

9. In between sizes : Tom just seems to always end up sitting between sizes for ages! Currently he has outgrown half his 12-18, but some of the 18-24 is too big or long. It's so frustrating when you don't want to buy more clothes that might not fit by the time you leave the shop!

10. The scary realisation that your child will be taller than you. And I mean child. I am 5"3, Tom comes up to my hip. At some point he will be looking down on me on the walk to school! 

So there it is. I think there. Are some nice things about being the mother to a gigantic baby but I will leave that for another day!

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments below! 

A Grand Day Out : Rare Breeds Centre

For Mr B's 30th birthday he was given a family ticket to The Rare Breeds Centre in Ashford, Kent. After looking it up we were both really excited to go as it looked family friendly. We took a picnic with us to be a bit thrifty and it's handy with Tom having allergies.

When we arrived there was more than adequate parking, there isn't set bays so it's really good for parent and child. You enter/exit through the gift shop which isn't big, loud and expensive but is quite modest and affordable. We didn't get anything going in or coming out but I noticed that they sold local farm produce which was lovely. During the day we did buy an ice cream each and it was sold as shop value rather than taking advantage of people not having other options, I think that sums up the vibe of the place and people running it!

Let's start with the animals! There is a huge array from birds of prey to cows and ponies, bunnies and pigs! Many of the animals are there so you can pet them and there are lots of hand washing facilities so you don't have to worry about germs, although I did keep the hand sanitizer out all day! The animals are all clearly well looked after and are really accessible, it was lovely seeing Tom be able to be so close and pet lots of animals he hasn't seen before. 

The farm has a big area of land so we also had a nice long walk, finding the secret lake, Giants chairs, an adventure area that Tom was too little for. There are playgrounds dotted around so there is plenty of opportunity for your children to burn off steam. 

One of the hidden gems is the soft play. We went there at midday to get out the sun and it was empty bar one child so Tom was really able to use all the equipment with no fear of being knocked over. I even went in and played on the slide, not dignified!

Tom's favourite part of the day was the tractor. They do regular tractor rides through the day to take you to different parts of the site or as a whole ride. Tom adored it, and the staff are so helpful and friendly. 

I really enjoyed the butterfly tunnel, it is a humid area but I've never seen such big, colourful butterflies. It took Tom a while to notice them but when he did he was entranced! 

The only real negative of the day is that when we was eating there were loads of wasps. It was better inside the marquee, but it's something to be mindful of. But by no means did it spoil our day. 

Please do not let that put you off as it is a wonderful day out. I would whole heartedly recommend the Rare Breeds Centre as a family day out. It's so family friendly and there is so much to see and do for all ages, I guarantee you won't leave disappointed! Our ticket was given to us but a family ticket can be purchased for £32, more information can be found at http://www.rarebreeds.org.uk/buy-tickets

Inside Out : What were they thinking?

Me and Mr B had a movie night last, and top of our list was Disney Pixar Inside Out appealing to our shared love of Disney, Pixar and my career around counselling and mental health.

So what were they thinking making a movie about how feelings feel? 

It

Is

Freeking 

Genius!?!

The basic premise is around an 11 year old girl, Riley and her 5 emotions of Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust. The film is based around the transition of childhood emotions to pre-teen and the acceptance that things can't always be happy, letting Sadness and Anger have their places in the spectrum of human emotion. I won't ruin the plot as I'm not a douche. 

I think this film fills a niche in giving children (and adults) permission to feel. And that is kinda a big deal. Let's take a moment and be a bit deep. As a society we have a subconscious expectation that we should be happy, we should be happy even when we are not. But sometimes we are sad, sometime sad stuff happens and actually what we need to be able to do is express that. And this is a bit of an alien concept but Inside Out captures that and makes it relatable. It says in big neon feeling letters BE SAD, BE ANGRY, be true to how you feel because things aren't just one feeling.

This film is brilliant! It's funny and had lots of feels (naturally). I actually cried, I cried for Joy, I cried for Sadness and I cried for Riley. But I also laughed (snorted) and am already looking forward to watching it again. 

Watching Inside Out provoked a really interesting conversation with me and Mr B and I can see that it could open up some communication between parents and children but can also be just another great Pixar movie when you don't want to be deep. 

I would 100% recommend seeing Inside Out. If you are on the fence that it is not your thing and you might not relate to it, then bear in mind that you would have felt all the feelings that are the charectors so you can relate to what the protagonists are feeling. 

In closing (I'm so formal), I ask again, what were they thinking? I have no idea but yet again Pixar show theyhave unmitigated genius. And for the fact that this may help us all accept our feelings just that little bit better, I am grateful. 

Allergy Testing : Follow Up Appointment

Tom had his follow up allergy appointment today, to see how we are managing and to decide on a plan of action. 

When we arrived they asked us to weigh Tom but it was agreed that this was not neccasary as he was weighed at the start of the week. 

The appointment itself was really short, less than ten minutes, as our situation is pretty straightforward. We hadn't completed the baked egg challenge as Tom had reacted to a chicken nugget that had been breaded with egg, so we agreed that Tom would avoid all eggs. We will also continue to avoid all peanuts and strawberry.

As Tom is able to have Nutella the doctor said that he may grow out of his allergies which I was really pleased with as the dietician had indicated otherwise. And that was that really. Tom will be retested when he is 4 to see if he has grown out of his allergies but until then it's pretty much Keep Calm and Carry On!

Ooh New Shoes? Baby's First Shoes

Tom has been walking more and more and we knew that getting him some shoes was on the horizon so today we did exactly that!

We went to the Clarks shop in Bluewater, because first shoes should always come from Clarks! I didn't realise it was such a formal affair! We took our number, and had to wait for around 10 minutes, during this time Tom took great pleasure in trying to eat the shoes on the shelf, and took a liking to a pink pair of desert boots. 

When it was our turn I held Tom on my lap whilst his feet were measured individually, he didn't really want to sit still as there were so many shoes left to eat, so I gave him the dribble of bottle we had in the pram which kept him just still enough! We found out that Tom is a 5.5 and that one foot is slightly wider than the other. The woman advised us that some children have to wear cruisers as they haven't worn shoes and they aren't used to them so they are too heavy to walk in, but they don't have those in Tom's size so he was going straight into shoes. 

I did feel frustrated that the advice I had seen on the NHS website is that babies shouldn't wear any shoes at all until they have walked for around a month, but then I felt we were being told that we should have put him in cruising shoes. I still am not sure what the right answer is.

 

The sales assistant was really friendly and helpful and brought us a few styles to try, we started with the lightest shoe, which is called Softly Liam First Shoes priced at £32, and we were so happy with them so we didn't look at anymore! The shoe fitted well and after a few Forest Gump steps, he was off! The shoe is a navy, brogue shaped front with a small plane on the side. It looks like it will be versatile for smart/casual and should be hard wearing. It has an orange sole and some other orange details to break up the blue. 

Clarks offer to take a photo and email it to you to document the moment, for free! I think that the touches like this and the superb service are why people go to Clarks. I am really happy with the service we received and even got a £10 online voucher for our next order, which is handy! They had a lovely selection and I am looking forward to choosing his next pair, I have a feeling it will be the blue desert boots as I was seriously swooning over them! 

If I had any advice I would say to go at a quiet time such as early on a weekday as the children's section can get pretty manic, especially with pushchairs, which can't be helped but it is difficult to navigate. I also saw a sale last week with great prices but it was too busy to get him measured which was a shame. I will be first in queue for the next sale as the prices were fantastic! Clarks have a great first shoes service and I would really recommend them! 

A Grand Day Out : Chatham Dockyards

To celebrate Mr B's birthday he decided to go on a family day trip to Chatham Dockyards. They currently have on an exhibition called "War Games" about children's games through the decades, which is what mainly appealed to Mr B as he had been to the Dockyards before but it was new to me and Tom! The prices are £19/adult, £11.50/child (5-15 yo), family ticket £49.50 (2 adult 2 children or 1 adult 3 children). The tickets are valid for a year for multiple visits. 

We enjoyed the exhibition, it was smaller than I had expected but this stopped Tom losing interest, there were also a few interactive areas such as trying on costumes! 

We did not look around the whole site as we intend to use the yearly pass and visit at different points through the year, there are areas both inside and outside so it has suitable rainy day activities. We enjoyed a tour that was a projected interactive story about how ships were originally made, it was so much more interesting than I had anticipated and Tom seemed to enjoy watching it aswell! Oh and there was randomly a police box on the site, or a TARDIS in my opinion! 

We also looked around a small ship, which was not totally buggy friendly but we managed to see the majority of it and I didn't feel that we missed much. As Toms walking improves I think I would return and he could look at the areas we missed. Tom really enjoyed ringing the ships bell!

Driving around the site there were small steam trains running back and forth and without a doubt this was Tom's favourite thing! The drivers were really friendly and would smile and wave at Tom, which he really loved. The trains gave the site a lively, bustling atmosphere and really added something special to the day!

 

We ate lunch on site, there were several options to eat and we chose The Wagon Stop Canteen as it seemed the most child friendly as it contained a small soft play area! The menu was mainly sandwiches, pies and jacket potatoes all at a reasonable price with a good variety of flavours. I had a minted lamb pie and it was lovely and flavoursome. I would definitely recommend eating here again if we were to eat on site, although on a nice sunny day it would also be good place for a picnic. 

Overall, we had a great family day out and I am already looking forward to retuning and seeing the things we missed, and that's a good sign! The price is good as it will last a year and I know we will make use of that but if I was a tourist I would have to get there very early to make the most of it. I would strongly recommend going to the tour as it really stood out to me. 

On a side note, Chatham Dockyard is just over the road from Chatham Outlet Shopping Centre, and if you are not wanting to eat at Chatham Dockyard restaurants then there are multiple food outlets there, including fast food if you need something cheap and easy. It's also a good place to bargain hunt and we ended up getting a new Next dining set for under £13! Happy days! 

Baby's First Dentist Appointment

According to the NHS website :

• Take your child to the dentist when the first milk teeth appear. This is so they become familiar with the environment and get to know the dentist. The dentist can help prevent decay and identify any oral health problems at an early stage. Just opening up the child's mouth for the dentist to take a look is useful practise for when they could benefit from future preventative care.

Tom has got his top and bottom rows of front teeth and his molars are coming through so Mr B decided it was time to go to the dentist. 

We had to arrive ten minutes before the appointment to complete some paper work, just documenting medical history, Drs details etc. 

We then went up the the dentist room, the purpose of the appointment to familiarise Tom with being at the dentist and to avoid any future fears. Tom sat on my lap in the chair and got it to go up and down. The dentist and dental nurse we had was really child friendly which was great. Tom was then encouraged to show his teeth to the dentist but he was pretty reluctant and due his nap, but the dentist was great about it and said she wouldn't want to force or coerce him to do anything as it may scare him in the future (she really was great!). 

The dentist chatted with us about what Tom eats and offered general advice about oral hygiene, such as any juices should be offered with meals rather then generally so the sugars won't just sit on his teeth, we don't give Tom anything other than water and milk but it's good to know for the future. 

It was agreed that Tom will return in six months and we should bring a three day food diary for the appointment, I guess to check he isn't eating lots of sugary or acidic foods.

In reflection, I think that it is a good idea to get your child familiarised with going to the dentist when they are little to avoid any fear but also to get yourself in the habit of taking them to the dentist! And if you are going then book strategically so they aren't due a nap!