5 Signs You Are Old And A Parent

1. If you were to get time to watch a film (ha!) you no longer relate to the cool you hip protagonist, in fact you think they are a stroppy young thing that needs a good wash. You are no longer Lindsay you are Jamie Lee. And you are ok with it

2. Your 'dream home' no longer includes a bar with Jäger on tap, more likely a playroom and a not too intimidatingly hawt nanny... And gin on tap

3. You dress practically. This doesn't always mean ugly, but an acceptance that there will be stains and choosing clothes that can camouflage accordingly. Also accommodating the 'mum tum'/cake thighs. Life would be easier if there was a uniform of baby grows and dribble bibs for adults 

4. Mum hair. There a few variations of this; scraped up, scraped back, a bit unwashed, very unwashed and hat. Usually accessoried with sick or food. The young mothers seem to magically find time to groom themselves but I'd rather spend five lore minutes in bed and continue my love affair with dry shampoo.

5. All of these points accumulate into my last, and lost fabulous point

NOT GIVING A SINGLE SHIT. 

I think young mums (not just age but mindset, after all I am only 26 *clings onto my youth*) still really care what the wider world thinks of them. I do have my monuments but for the most, other people can do one, the only person I who can judge me is Tom. Tom thinks I'm Beyoncé when we are having a boogie, he thinks I'm Taylor Swift when we sing the Thomas the Tank Engine tune and that I'm Ed Byrne when I pretend he has smelly feet (seriously, this kid is easily amused). Tom doesn't see greasy hair, bags under my eyes, stains on my clothes or my jibber belly, he thinks I'm a bit wonderful and that's all I could want.