Fuck ups and Fixes

Fuck ups and Fixes

I know it’s so hard to believe but I’m actually not perfect (I’ll let you catch your breath). So here are 5 areas I am fucking up and what I’m doing about that. It’s also important to note that I included what I am accepting about that because some shit is beyond your control and why lug emotional baggage that can be put down?

1. Hey fatty boom boom...

I am not happy with my current weight, a brief overview is that I lost 5 and a half stone, had a miscarriage, got preggo, had the baby, ate a lot of biscuits, joined slimming world, lost a stone, left slimming world, ate more biscuits and now here I am.

What am I doing about it?

I’ve set myself a challenge to work out for 30 minutes every day in order to get my body used to moving more again, so far I’ve been successful! I am motivated by visuals and challenges so I’ve been using my bullet journal and the hashtag #fatcuntfebruary to track it.

Once the challenge is complete I will set a new monthly challenge around snacking as that is my other job problem area. A daily challenge helps me in that rather than tackling a massive problem I only have to survive one day at a time! 

What I accept.

I accept that I am an emotional eater, and I problem solve with food. I accept that I love food and that I take great pleasure in cooking and eating, but this is not an excuse for gluttony.

2. You gotta have faith faith faith...

I have always considered myself to have an unorthodox approach to faith. I am a catholic and that is important to me, however my practices aren’t exactly in line with it! I don’t feel my faith is integrated in my life well. 

What am I doing about it?

Luckily lent is coming which is a good time to consider faith. This year I am stopping swearing which may seem silly but if you know me you will know that this is a big deal. I am hopeful that this will mean my mind will be on Jesus more, even if it’s me being annoyed that I can’t just spout off my usual vernacular.

I am also wearing a cross daily, again to be a visual reminder to myself that God is with me. But also as way of showing the world that I am a woman of faith and that it’s actually quite important to me. 

What I accept 

It is truly my belief that if God wanted babies and toddlers in church he would have put a mute button on them. I accept that I am not prepared to regularly go to church with Chloe because I won’t actually be engaged with the service as she has my focus. However, because of this I will seek to strengthen my faith in other ways (such as using a daily Bible app)   

3. Workin 9-5

Recently it’s come to my attention that some of my beliefs around my role in work and how it is perceived is actually bullshit based on my historical beliefs and perceptions and actually I have more value than I believed. However I know that I want more. I don’t feel I am reaching my potential. 

What am I doing about it?

I am arranging to return to a previously held voluntary counselling role in which I felt valued and capable. I enjoyed the position but didn’t particularly try to integrate in the company which is something I want to try harder at this time. 

In my paid position I want to take more ownership of the work I do compete as I like to do a lot of behind the scenes stuff and not put myself forward. I am also wanting to improve my networking skills (vom) as I know it’s an area I am uncomfortable in so should work on it in a place I feel safe (feels cringey to say)

What I accept

I accept their are limitations in the role I am in and that by comparing myself to the progress of others I will not gain anything except frustration. I accept my goals will take time to develop but never will if I never take a chance. 

4. Ooohhooohhh baby love

Mum guilt. Always mum guilt. Currently it’s questioning if I give Tom enough academic support and if chloe is stimulated enough but let’s be honest at any given moment I can give you a list as long as my arm.

What I am doing about it?

With Tom I am making more effort to work on academic things and trying to keep it interesting. I am having to work more with Ben to have a United front on screen time and practicing homework even when one parent feels differently we both know consistency is key.

With Chloe I am trying to be more mindful of my presence with her, to do more targeted things around different skills rather than feeling overwhelmed with everything I just pick one thing in that moment and work with that.

I am also generally trying to be more aware of my phone use around the kids but that’s a tricky habit to break! 

What I accept

I accept that I can’t be perfect, I can’t be the full time mum I was on maternity leave and that this is ok. I acknowledge that I have two happy kids that love and are loved and that’s all I need. 

5. Money money money, must be funny, in the rich mans world  

I don’t earn an amazing wage, I don’t earn a pittance but I really do enjoy spending money. Sometimes life is as simple as that

What I am doing about it?

So this is a weird one but it’s working, rather than instantly buy the thing I want, I take a photo and put it on my insta stories. And it totally hits the same spot, the joy is in the sharing the finding of something nice without the need to own it. Don’t get me wrong I’ve not stopped spending but it helps. 

I am also trying to be more active in avoiding places that will encourage me to spend. I’m not browsing online as much or going into shops when I know I don’t need anything from there. My ‘in the moment’ willpower is weak but my fore planning and abstinence will power is surprisingly strong. 

What I accept

I accept I am a mum with two kids and a husband who doesn’t like shopping for things that aren’t essential or technology. This means I have to buy stuff, I like to get a bargain and to be prepared so I will always have my eye out. But I acknowledge the difference between ‘I like that’ and ‘I need to own that’, and that my long term goals are worth more than instant gratification. 

I hope you like this post, it feels a bit vulnerable putting it out there! What are your fuck ups and do you have any tips and advice for managing it?

The no bullshit guide for buying baby clothes for new parents

I hope this is helpful, I find that when pregnant you get a bit bombarded with companies telling you things are essential and really it’s a load of old shit. This is what you actually might need...

I used to love picking clothes for Tom, he was such a dreamboat

Clothes

• Scratch mitts - don’t bother they won’t stay on
• Shoes - don’t bother, they won’t stay on 
• Hats - you seriously don’t need many, you won’t use them as much as you think 
• Bibs - my fav are from Sainsbury’s, they pull over the head and are massive to catch everything 
• Dribble bibs/bandanas - adorable lol go mad! 
• Socks - primark are best - nice and stretchy and wash well and cheap so doesn’t matter when they get lost or mismatched 
• Vests - primark - they will be shat on and sometimes you will just throw them in the bin or the stain doesn’t wash out. Wouldn’t spend loads. Get the ones that like vests and not short sleeves, looks better under clothes. Don’t go mad on long sleeve vests, buy a few and get more as and when, you won’t need as many as you think! 
• Trousers - chinos and jeans are cute but a pain in the arse to get on and off- you don’t want that when they are covered in shit! Go for soft and stretchy. Lots of brands do nice leggings for boys or the harem style looks nice 
• Tops- those vests that are a shirt (all in one) are an absolute pain to get on and off (especially in a poonami situation) so save for special occasion or avoid! 
• Outerwear - try and get things that do up rather than go over the head, just feels like you are pulling them around and you are usually a bit nervous of that when they are brand new! 
• Babygrows - see above! Boots do very nice designs but are all pull over the head ones and it’s just a pain in the arse. Get ones with fold over sleeve so you don’t need scratch mitts - most places do this these days but deffo worth checking as it’s handy and keeps their little hands warm 
• SIDENOTE- when the baby is brand new keep him in babygrows, they just want to be comfy and snuggly, they don’t need to get dressed! 
• Baby sleeping bags - seriously just get 2, you don’t need loads. You can always get more if you need it but don’t freak and get loads they just take up space. 

Brands

• Aden + Anais - the BEST muslins, but expensive - can get deals on amazon if you keep an eye out or T K Maxx. Also make nice gifts 
• Boots - bit overpriced but cute designs, often does sales, don’t forget parenting club for extra points 
• Gap - washes well, lasts well. Good for boys clothes. Join the mailing list and you always get extra discounts. Has a good sale section year round 
• Next - really is good for baby clothes, expensive but good sales. Sizes BIG so clothes last ages, washes well
• Primark - good for basics and also does really good muslins (some shops are really rough, they aren’t all created equal)
• Joules - expensive but brilliant quality, has an outlet on eBay. Really lovely 
• M&S - also really good quality, good sales. On the baby grows they often have a coloured popper so they match up, it’s nice 
• Sainsbury’s - does the best supermarket baby clothes, designs are a bit more fashionable, washes well. Get on the 25% off
• Jojo maman baby - way frickin overpriced but does a good sale so worth keeping an eye on
• T K max - the best place for lovely baby blankets 
• Zara - cute, pricey, can come up small
• H&M - does lovely organic cotton stuff, weird sizes but you get used to it! Reasonably priced and some interesting designs

I would say this is a comprehensive guide to what is actually worth getting for newborns - 6 months. This is predominantly aimed at boys but most of it applies to girls and I can do a separate one if anyone is interested!

Brand Review: Aurosa

Aurosa Etsy

How I found them 

I came across the brand when she did a #tennertuesday on Instagram. Since then I have made repeat orders. I often use a code from one of her brand reps and TopCashback with Etsy, which makes it very affordable and good value.

What I like about them 

Firstly, I really like the variety of patterns that Aurosa offers, she really has something for everyone.

Secondly, The lady who runs the business is super helpful and flexible. There has been times when I have asked really dumb questions or have changed my idea of what I would like and she has always been super accommodating.

Thirdly, the quality of the baby clothes is AMAZING! The fabrics are usually a lovely thick cotton that sits well and washes well too. I have also had a summer item that is a thinner cotton and works just as brilliantly. I cannot fault the workmanship, she really is incredible.

Forthly (is that a word?), due to the items being handmade the sizing is fantastic! They are cut on the large size so accommodate for a much longer period of time. Chloe is yet to get even close to growing out of her rompers that I bought six months ago! And a dress I bought her recently is clearly going to be around for a long time. It feels like an investment when you buy from Aurosa as the items last with time and quality.
Finally,  the price. Instagram brands are often (in my oh so humble opinion) massively overpriced (my bug bear is people reselling cheap items from China at a massive mark up). But Aurosa couldn’t be further from that. The prices are very reasonable with brand reps offering a discount as well as money back via TopCashback. I haven’t found a cheaper brand that could complete in value and the icing on the cake is knowing the money is going to a really lovely person.

Standout products 

This is a tough one as I really like everything I’ve ordered. Right now I am fully loving a dress I bought and am planning to buy a few more for the summer. But really, the thing I love the most, the thing I’ve bought many many more of is the rompers. The rompers are amazing! They come up big so last for absolutely ages. They are very adaptable in what you can put under them which really changes the look and best of all they look adorable.

Long story short, I love Aurosa!
I want to also do a quick shout out to the lady who runs Aurosa as she is also a really lovely person!

(This post is not sponsored and in no way affiliated with Aurosa, I just really like the brand)

A Grand Day Out: Leed Castle

We recently visited Leeds Castle in Maidstone, Kent, but have been regular visitors over the past two year as we are annual pass holders. It’s not too far from where we live and is a good all rounder for a family day out.

https://www.leeds-castle.com

Price

So, not going to pretend its a cheap day out but your ticket is an annual pass  so if you’re local it works out much cheaper because it includes their themed events (Motors by the Moat, Jousting and Christmas Market).
An annual family ticket for 2 adults and up to 4 children is £76 and under 4's go free.
You can add on a freedom pass which allows you to use the land train through the grounds and the boat across the lake but you can pay for this (about £1.50 each) ad hoc if you prefer.
the first annual pass we had we added it on as Tom was obsessed with trains at the time but this year we haven't bothered and at present I can't say I miss it as its making us walk more!

Parking and Accessibility

The thing we all care about: Parking is free. Parking is no issue at Leeds Castle, plenty of spaces are available but can get very busy on themed events in which case you might want to come early.
The majority of the grounds are buggy/wheelchair friendly however to go into the castle you are required to use the buggy park by the castle gift shop (bloody love a gift shop). There is also a maze which I wouldn't consider buggy friendly as it ends via an underground grotto.
There are toilets in the key areas of the castle, although each only has one baby change station so in peak times you may have to wait.

Things to Do

• Walk around the grounds
• Look around the castle
• Mini Golf (Extra cost) - £1.50 for kids £2 for adults. 
• Falconry display
• Falconry bit where the birds live (what is that called??)
• Younger kids play area (0-5)
• Older kids play area (6+)
• Maze/Grotto 
• Dog collar museum (its a bit weird)

Food

Most importantly, there is a Costa around halfway. if you are on a day out with kids you will want caffeine, its always busy for this reason.
They have several other places to get coffee dotted around but only one is Costa, I believe the rest are internal brands.
There is also an actual restaurant which is behind Costa, I've never eaten there but the food looks nice. When I looked at the menu a kids meal was £6.50 and average adults meal was £12, this was the Sunday menu and may vary in the week.
Around the kids area you have a cafe which sells very nice chips (£4)! It is a pricey cafe so be prepared. a kids pizza is £7 and a 14" margarita is £13. They do a good selections of ice cream and coffee so again, can be quite busy.
However, Leeds Castle does have lots of places to have picnics including an area that is covered. We rarely buy food there and more often bring our own (and buy coffee!). If you are going as a rare day out then maybe treat yourself and buy food but really I would suggest bringing a picnic and eating before the falconry show (wouldn't suggest during as you don't want to piss off an Eagle with your ham sandwich).

Random Other Shit

OK, I will say it, Leeds Castle is largely populated by the Boden Brigade. There is a fair amount of middle class dickheads (I once saw a woman complain to the manager that her children went on a slide and got wet - it was autumn and had been raining - it was a full on Karen moment). I don't feel this impacts the day in anyway but seemed prominent enough to mention.
A big pro is there are lots of things that are good for photos. Maybe this is a tad vapid but I like Instagram and appreciate places that I can get a good picture for the 'gram. Leeds Castle has my back and clearly has thought this through.
They also consider how to keep things fresh for regular visitors and update things like using QR Codes across the park for kids to follow. As well as brass rubbings (you may laugh but Tom loves that shit) and the castle has really good sheets with things for kids to find/count. They also have themes at Christmas that are family friendly and absolutely stunning.
Speaking of Christmas, Leeds Castle does a great theme day. We've been to quite a few and the only complaint i would have is that the Christmas market was very busy, but lets be fair, most christmas markets are!

Overall

I really love Leeds Castle, it’s a nice day out no matter the weather. it gets us out and walking and once you are there you don't have to spend money if you don't want to (always a bonus). If you are on the fence then I would say its really worth taking a chance on!

Guess Who's Back

Hey hey hey
So, its been a while, but here I am!

I took a break as I felt that I was splitting myself in too many directions and wasn't doing well in any of them. I made the decision to stop blogging until I had the time and energy to invest in it properly. Now I can't promise that I will be the world's best, but I can promise that I will try to not waste anyones time.

I am aiming to write about motherhood, days out, products I like, budgeting, organisation, goals and hopefully at sometime I will end up doing some career development which is a journey I would like to share.

I hope that I don't come across as holier than thou, I am under no illusion that I have my shit together or that I am any better than anyone else, but I've got some good tips and tricks that I enjoy sharing. If you find me up my own arse then by all means have a chat with me or fuck off, I'm happy with either outcome!

I make a vow to you now.
I will always give my true opinion
I will continue to use the word cunt with gay abandon
I will make mistakes but will always say sorry
I will be true to myself

Oh and Ben has agreed to spell check for me, so that should be a big improvement on previous posts!

- Soph

Review : Elegant Touch False Nails : 143

I am going to be a bridesmaid for my friend this week and initially intended to go to the nail shop and sit awkwardly whilst inhaling acetone and wondering if I can borrow a mask. But then I saw on HotUKDeals (a deal site and app that I would highly recommend to you thrifty mamas) that Poundworld was selling Elegant Touch nails for, you guessed it, a pound! Being as we are due to go on holiday (see previous post) I thought I would save some pennies and give these a try.

I have quite small hands and nails so I bought the XS size which still carried a good variety in the pack (10 different sizes, 24 nails total). I used the style 143 Fench Manicure - American Pink, this has the classic French tip and the nail has a mild pink tone but matches my real nail well. Due to the XS size the tip isn't too long, so although they don't look real (obvs!) they aren't ridiculously long and false looking.

The pack includes the nails, the glue and nail file so you can shape the nail and shorten it if desired. The nails have a tab on the end for easy application and are a doddle to apply. The nails fit comfortably on the finger and once on they feel secure. 

So far I am really happy with these nails and pretty pleased to have saved £20+ by not going to a shop, plus I know my nails won't be as wrecked as they would be by acrylics! I will update this post about wear and tear once I know more! 

Planning a holiday with a toddler in 15 easy steps

1. Starts with a lovely idea : a bit of fun in the sun.

2. He will like a bit of swimming

3. Swimming will tire him out 

4. ... Then it's cocktail o'clock

5. What's the minimum age for the kids club?

6. He could look older, maybe add a fake moustache 

7. Two weeks to go, must do washing and ironing

8. One week to go, must do washing and ironing

9. Two days to go, they would just get creased in the suitcase anyway

10. Really can't be bothered to pack, hmm.. What's on YouTube, I can watch whilst I pack

11. Shit, it's been three hours and Zoella hadn't helped me in the slightest (rude!)

12. Why did I book a holiday again?

13. What a stupid time for a flight

14. Please don't cry/poo/run around on the plane 

15. Fuck it, shall we just stay home?